Betrayal

I'm sure many have experienced a betrayal at some point. It is simply part of life. Something that truly cannot be avoided. So as a result we just try to accept it. Sometimes though a betrayal will cut deep. So deep it leave a scar. This has happened to me many times. Bringing much pain & sorrow. But with each new scar the pain numbs faster. Despite the misery following these, I believe each has a lesson. I might not know it right off but I'm sure somewhere. I suffered yet another betrayal myself. It was before I moved. The so called "friends" Candace & Snuffy. It all started around June. My dad's mother called up mentioning something about my dad having a new sister. She has a habit of taking in teens & is blind to their bad qualities. The so called sister was yet another one of these teens. I was still working on school trying to graduate. My reaction was simple I rolled my eyes & expected the worst. My dad was annoyed about it. But he went over to introduce himself. My gut said it was bad news. As did my heart.

About a week or so later it was my time to meet her. I wasn't to thrilled. But my parents insisted I go. With little choice I went. When I got there I looked around there was no one but the in laws. She was horribly antisocial and a proclaimed severe bipolar. This made me curious but not to much. Eventually she came out once. she had a face full of piercings & dyed hair. She had a punk look to her. And I felt uneasy around her. Soon she went back to her room. Obviously hating the company. Later on that night we went home. Time continued own & I was repeatedly forced to go back over there. I became very annoyed. My upcoming graduation was coming up. I wanted to finish early. This kept putting me further back. My ADHD already made it hard to finish I needed no help. A month passed & my supposed graduation was around the corner now. I was so annoyed by the family I just wanted to be left alone.

Eventually the graduation time came & I wasn't ready. I missed it. Outraged I took allot of my stress out on my family who was really no help during this. It was all about that "Candice". Apparently the in laws also began to matter as they where changing allot of there old crap. Being pulled between this & school mad me so mad. It wasn't until around late July & early September that Candace began to socialize. Starting off by talking with my parents. As time continued she became more social. Apparently we some how got her trust. I still disliked her because of a bad feeling around her. She had this little long haired chiwawa she called little bit and ma mach. That little rat was quite a spazz. The dog didn't really come to her. Me being great with animals especially dogs well. With in one day of messing with it she came to me on a snap of my fingers.

I found it amusing because Candace saw this & grew frustrated. I fed off this frustration quite a bit. We where at odds. Eventually I tried to socialize with little results. My next graduation was set at 10/27/12. I was so excited because I was gonna make this one. About this point I had my first conversation with Candace. It died quickly though. The following days I grew more successful at keeping it alive. I still sensed an uneasy feeling around her. But I tried to look passed it. Despite my instinct say no. With my families unique ability to pick up on things others can't it wasn't long till my parents came to me. They stated that Candace might be after me for something other then friendship like sex. My eyes widened at this. I had no interest in her what so ever. The thought made me sick. I told them not to worry I will keep an eye out now that I know. This plus my feeling of uneasiness made it almost impossible to socialize with her. She obviously had dark intentions but this just made it worse.

This moment came to pass putting that putrid thought to rest. As things continued to unravel I was left with my world turning upside down. My parents left to live with the in laws while I lived with my grandmother. I was angry, confused, and some what scared of what was to come. Being a nightmare unfolding I had no idea what to do next. I directed allot of my anger towards my mom & dad. The months seemed like an eternity. Between my chaotic emotions and my school I was completely lost. Eventually my parents began to call Candice my friend. I corrected them saying she was nothing more than acquaintance. Eventually we began to come to terms despite the lingering feeling that was still present.
But it wasn't until her friend snuffy came in that I would fully attempt to put aside the feeling. I had just came over when I saw him. He was this slinky mexican dude who sounded like a preteen still.

I felt a bit more trust in him than I did with Candace. He was the first I actually tried to call friend. September was approaching. I ended up having allot of spare time. I was still emotionally distraught. Having had every thing I knew change in a blink I didn't know what to do. It wasn't until after one night though that I even really talked to snuffy. I saw him & proceeded to my dad's ps3 where I began playing Gundam: Battle Operations. It was probably the next night if I recall right that we ended up talking. We stayed up all night. This was my first friend I thought. I was so happy. Time continued. Candace became more social with me. But some how remained in the back ground still. I couldn't believe it was real. I felt so excited that we where having fun hanging out. But there was still that feeling. That dark sense.  I ignored what I should have actually payed more attention to. Me & Candace continuously butted heads. As things continued to progress It all became more enjoyable.

The tension between my parents & I still remained however. I was just focusing on the moment. I got to go out with my 2 new pals. I got to ride around. I had fun. But gradually as I watched I had the feeling Candace was winning my mother over to well. It appeared as if she was taking my spot. I felt excluded. The time just went along slower & slower. Days felt like months. Eventually we where watching movies together. We ate pizza together. We had tons of fun. I was still so happy. But I continued to ignore that feeling like a fool. This wasn't meant to last. Being suspicious of what they where doing behind my back I kept wondering. My parents gave them the right to punish my siblings even. I was outraged. I didn't enjoy such an idea. When I tried to be a big brother Candace said "No let me handle it you have that anger because you'r siblings." In my mind I thought "Who do you think you are they are my siblings" They pulled cruel punishments to. Where I would simply give em a light smack upside the head. Snuffy kept doing outrageous things to my siblings. I suspected even worse. Eventually I learned the truth the day before Thanks giving.

I felt horrible. I was back stabbed again. I had realised that I never had friends to begin with. I was used. Played. I should have payed attention to that feeling. I should have listened to that sense. I learned to truly listen to that feeling from now own. But the bitter results from this has left me still alone with no actual friends. At one point I asked my dad "What did I do to deserve this?" He responded "Nothing" I sat there in such a depressed state. I felt anger & sorrow. The tension between me & my parents was put to rest. And soon after the act had finished It was time to move. Out of one hell into yet another. My life was chaotic during that & to be honest It still is. I truly wish to have friends soon.